JIMINY

In my head, my own Jiminy Cricket has the voice of my mother. Easier for me to ignore that way. (Beat you to that joke, Mom.) And my Bikram yoga-specific Jiminy Cricket has the voice of my teacher, Stefan. If you want to know what that sounds like, watch this local news clip showcasing what we do in the hot room:

(Skip forward to 2:47. The first half is nonsense. I ask you, is there anything more consistently lame than local news?)

KTVN Channel 2 - Reno Tahoe News Weather, Video -

Don't ask me why they chose to film in a class that's basically empty. It doesn't look like that when I'm there, team. I guess everyone just shows up when they suspect little Romo will be taking class. It's more fun that way. For example, when I saw my friend, Dona, at the studio this evening, she wagged her finger at me and said, "Now, no nipple-pinching in class tonight!" And since she was behind me in class yesterday, it was a relevant thing to say. 

Okay, that's not so much me being fun in class. It's Jim. I'm a bore. And the nipple pinching is benign; when we did Half Moon last night and I bent sideways toward him, I bent far enough to knock into his chest without realizing that's what was going to happen, and Dona watched it go down. But other times he's tried to catch my fingers in his mouth when I bend toward him in that pose. In the dressing room after class one night a girl told me that she cracked up when she saw him spit a big mouthful of water at me before final breathing. When we do Full Locust he'll loop his hand through the back of my top and pull me up. (I thank him for the boost.) He tosses ice cubes from his Hydroflask onto my mat. My boyfriend is a yoga menace. 

I am the boring, innocent one. 

Then again, I've tried to hold him down in Full Locust and that's after I've smacked his butt when we prepped for that posture. I squeezed a shockingly cold washcloth down his back before Spine Twisting last night. I've even bit him when we bent forward for Standing Separate Leg Stretching. Maybe we're both menaces. But it's still his fault. He brings it out in me.