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• Last night's weird-ass dream had my sister, Haley, super high on some cocktail that included Xanax. Frowny face. In this same dream, my sister, Whitney, had me taking care of her daughter for a few days. For the record, Whit, that was a really bad idea; I forgot about Violet and left her in an abandoned castle. I'm really sorry. As it turns out though, she was just fine.

• My dog loves cucumbers.

• Can someone please make me some chocolate pasta? I saw it on Iron Chef America and I want to try some o' that for myself. Only please don't serve the pasta with broccoli rabe and sausage. I'd like mine dressed simply with salted butter and a complimentary cheese.

• I thinned my own hair this morning before work. I had my mini mop cut last week, but I was feeling a little fat on one side today. So I thinned it. I realize that DIY haircuttery is unadvisable, but everything came out okay. At least in the spots I can see.

• Fresca is the cat's pajamas. Chemicals over calories, baby.

• Worst texture for food: Mushy.

• I made a step in the right yoga direction. I actually showed up to class today. High five, me. Oh, and I lived. So I guess I can see about going back tomorrow. Because sweating my damn brains out sounds like a whole lot of fun, right? Duh.

• If you're not already of the Drugstore.com faithful, consider giving it a shot. If you use this t-riff resource you'll find you have more time to sit on your butt and watch Chopped. And who doesn't want to watch four chefs try to make an appetizer out of mushrooms, Sour Patch Kids, Tonka trucks, and somebody's kid sister?