Friday, July 10, 2009

TWITS

I don’t Twitter. I won’t Twitter. I don’t do Facebook. I didn’t do MySpace.

I keep a blog, and that’s as far into the social aspect of the Internet as I will delve. However, there I times I have thoughts and think, If I didn’t think that Twittering would be a monumental waste of my already squandered time, I’d tweet this . . . So rather than wasting my time actually twittering I will instead waste it depositing a post comprised of thoughts in 140 characters or less.
• It’s lame that my mom’s blog is private. All should send her emails petitioning that it be public again. I want everyone to enjoy.

• I am the one who discovered Whitney’s contribution in Real Simple http://stupidtinyurl.com.

• My hair feels disgusting. Maybe I should wash it. Thursday.

• I have discovered that some inconsequential people think that I should give a damn if they think I’m tactless. Hilarious.

• When was the last time I told you how much I love my iPhone? If it’s been ten minutes it’s been far too long.

• Little things that make a day: sending two pounds of awesome salt water taffy to someone who will surely think you’re creepy for doing so.

• I again love myself today for never having given in to Facebook.

• Yoga is like sex; it’s not a nearly large enough part of my life.

• U2's Vertigo is my favorite sun salutations tune.

• I just saved my neighbor’s dog, Luna’s, life. I’m one of those heroes you read about in the local paper.

• I wish James Taylor’s Suzanne had never died. If I kick, please remind my husband to write a Fire and Rain about me.

• Incidentally, I think it’s super lame that my husband is against my using his name in my blog.

@caitlyncox Don't be mad. I just cut my own bangs. They were getting too long. And now they’re awesome.

• Ryan Reynolds is sexy. The Husband heartily agrees. In fact, I got the idea from him.

• Is there a law against taking your screaming-bloody-murder infant out of Sunday School?

• If the parents in my ward would please start a Foyer Parents Club I’d make them t-shirts. Or ties or necklaces to be church-appropriate.

• I had a dream last night that my spouse had a secret blog wherein he used his own name and I was miffed that he didn't let me use it in mine.

• Why does my dog act like she needs an engraved invitation to jump up onto the bed? She sleeps with us every night.

• I’m not sure how many times I can drive past the local water park without blowing off my day to go in and play.

• Married Mr. Right for Me, I did.

• My favorite dress is from Wal-Mart. My favorite earrings are plastic silver posts from F21. I am super classy.

• I just bought a killer new swimsuit from J. Crew. And I’ll probably never wear it as I am too fat to ever leave the house.
This little Tweet concept will probably make itself into a recurring theme on Remarks from Sparks. In fact, it is now a label. Throw it a shower or something. I shall keep a little list of tweetables and then post them as a composite.

Whitney tells me that I’m not at all original in writing a post like this one. That’s something I would know if I read more blogs than my own and hers. Something to consider.

12 comments:

Shelby Lou said...

I loved the yoga one. It made me giggle inside. Then made me kind of half frown.

Did you know that twittering is a waste of time? Sure you did, but the fact is... that these little remarks are sometimes your most clever.

Enjoy your day.

Lars said...

"Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic." I live by this saying, your mock-tweet made me think of this.

So if it came down to the iPhone and the hot water which would you choose?

Markelle said...

Loved your "tweets"...keep em coming. Funny dream, and I too bought a J. Crew swimsuit but it was promptly returned. I'm glad yours worked out. good luck wearing it somewhere useful:)

I agree there are just some things that we won't and shouldn't give into. yours is facebook, mine is mass multimedia online gaming such as World of Warcraft. However if you do cave we can totally be FB friends.

Jessica said...

gosh, you're entertaining. makes my boring days spreadsheeting at work seem more interesting. (although, honestly, i kind of love putting data into spreadsheets. makes me feel good.)

annie said...

This might be one of my favorite posts, as I too have avoided Twitter like the plague. And yet there is a part of me that comes up with random tweets, yearning to get them out. As if anyone cares.

Oh well... Thanks for sharing yours.

Misti said...

I thought this same thing, needing a Twitter just for these little thoughts, today while walking into the grocery store. There were no less than 5 insane and stupid things to comment on.

But, I have no interest in Twitter and deleted Facebook a few weeks ago.

Alicia said...

Ryan Reynolds is one good looking man. My husband agrees. Great tweets. This is even better because I get your "tweets" all at once instead of having to read one every 10 hours or so...

[Morgan] said...

whitney was right.
but who says you always have to be original?
do this more often please. i like it.

rabidrunner said...

And for that, you just might end up with "Rockin' Robin" in your gmail box. Get it? "Tweetley deetley dee! Tweetley deetley dee"

meg said...

Oh ribbity Rabid, you clever frog, you!

(If you could see me now, you'd see that I am shakin' it to Laffy Taffy.)

Jaime Stephens said...

I also love myself for not giving into twitter, facebook, etc.. Once my brother was on it and I asked if I could check it out and I ignored my kids for way to long and didn't get the things I needed to be done, done.

I am glad your mom has opened up her blog as I remember her she is sweet but that little write up about her was great, I look forward to the reading of her blog.

I liked your tweets.

Can you maybe post sometime about things you love about your iphone.. I have one, love it but I feel like I might be missing out on things that you know. Please share you are smart and me not so much in that area.

And I think it's funny, your dream about the husband and him using his name

Thanks. Sorry this was long

Lindsay said...

That's what I did when I made a post like this...I tweeted. I have always been proud of myself for not doing facebook, myspace, etc. I am holding strong, too, even through all of the pressure.