Tuesday, July 7, 2009

MOUTH TO MOUTH

Doesn't recalling your first kiss just make you gag? Not that I'd expect it to cross your mind at all. My own rarely makes an appearance in conscious thought, but a recent comment on my blog brought it to mind and made me grateful that I'd not had a larger lunch, for it woulda' ended up on my perfect little iPhone.

What if kissing was still like that? What if it were still sloppy, slobbery, and awkward? Fortunately, such is not the case. At least--thank my luckiest of lucky stars--not for me. In fact, I've been married to Monsieur Megan for nearly 7 years and my eyes still roll back in my head when he gives me one of those movie star smooches he's so grand at. And I 'spect that's going to continue.

But that initial foray into lip-locking was a disaster. As I can only speak for myself, I'd hope that was the case for both parties; for if the other half of my first kiss thought that it was any good I sure do pity him, as I have long-since moved on to bigger, better, and longer-lasting things (that invariably lead to other things whether intended or otherwise).

Although my sweetheart's kissin' makes me weak in the knees, I don't actually understand kissing. The act itself. Sometimes when The Husband and I are watching a movie and one love interest goes in for the kill, I will turn to my own love interest and say something akin to, Isn't it so odd that we do that? That we bring our mouths together to advance or nurture a relationship? Sort of creepy-weird. He rolls his eyes every time. He's heard it before.

The really strange, however, is that in our youth we could set our sights on an awkward, gawky, scrawny, four-eyed, pubescent boy and, in effect, say, Hey, I think I want to put my mouth on his mouth. And that that same pubescent boy could look at a chubby, over-made-up, highly-hairsprayed girl and think likewise.

If you don't believe in miracles, just considering that element of maturation should help out significantly.

16 comments:

A Way Down South In Dixie said...

Um, YES. My first kiss was so awkward I pretended to sleep through it! And that in itself is now awkward enough to try to explain...

Chris and Whit said...

Ahh, the first snogging session. The memories! The horror! I'm with you though, I don't quite get the concept of kissing. I've always wondered who thought it up in the first place, and where did they get such a bizarre idea...then I'd like to give them a big fat wet one to say thanks.

Single Girl said...

OK I think that ALL THE TIME. and people think I am sooo weird.

Who cares how weird it is, it feels good.


or who thinks of things like that, its just what kissing is.


I agree. ITs great and all, but when you think about it. REALLY think about it, its weird. But then again, so is sex.

Jessica said...

this made me chuckle. my husband was my first kiss (and my last, with a lot of other people in between. just wanted to clarify so you don't think i'm one of those first kiss on the wedding day kind of girls). we still talk about that sometimes. he likes to tease me about what a terrible kisser i was. lucky (for him) i practiced a lot before we got married.

repliderium.com said...

First kisses are akin to spitting in each others mouths- or slobbering in them. And I just used the word akin.
*sigh*

[Morgan] said...

yep, totally creepy - weird.

this post made me laugh, and made my day;)

meg said...

I do what I can, Morgan. Thanks. For you-know-what.

tom lindsey said...

Ahh, Missy. I remember the day she got her braces off. Not sure what happened to her after that.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=affairs-of-the-lips-why-we-kiss

meg said...

Tom, I like this one the best

"Kissing may have evolved from primate mothers’ practice of chewing food for their young and then feeding them mouth-to-mouth. Some scientists theorize that kissing is crucial to the evolutionary process of mate selection."

Maybe I should just chew up my husband's food and spit it into his mouth to show love.

tom lindsey said...

I'll give you 5 bucks ...

Brandon and Julie said...

"Maybe I should just chew up my husband's food and spit it into his mouth to show love."

What are you...are mamma bird?

I'm never going to be able to kiss with a straight face again. (Wait a minute. Does anyone kiss with a "straight" face?)

meg said...

Only heterosexuals kiss with straight faces Julie.

Brandon and Julie said...

Oh, Megan you are so HILARIOUS. Fine, my face is straight.

rookie cookie said...

Wasn't your first kiss Matt Mildenstein?

Shelby Lou said...

I totally wrote about this same topic on my blog today. Last night, I was sitting next to this boy on the couch. I don't know him very well, I think we have known each other for 2 weeks. Then, out of no where really, he kissed me! It was such an amazing thing. I was in AW. Considering my last kiss was a good 7 months ago.

No matter how creepy it is... I will always love it! haha

Markelle said...

mine was at a junior high dance...how romantic. so much that I broke up with him that very night!