Monday, May 25, 2009


So you fall into Love. And you're stuck there. Even if you'd like to amble onward alone, you're out of luck. 'Cause you're in love.

Thus marriage enters the picture. And you're giddy and worthless to anyone but your beloved. You wed. It's the most wonderful day of your life.

And then the honeymoon. It's splendid. You couldn't have dreamed that you could enjoy being with one person so very much. What good fortune you have. He's perfect.

Life moves onward and things like bills and lawnmowers enter your blissful existence. No worries; anything is bearable with him.

You begin to pay the bills. You write a check. You start to sign your name. And then you realize that your new last name is Dumblauskas. You've been hoodwinked.

That's how it goes. You love the man, not the surname. But the surname comes with; it's a package deal.

Romo. I never thought I'd end in a vowel. But I do. A big fat O. However, so far as last names go, it's okay. It's unique enough. It's not tough to pronounce. And when someone asks me how to spell it I'm grateful that my last name just gave me insight into their pathetic IQ.

My sister Whit got Ingram. So cool! 'Cause she can abbreviate it to "Ing" and make her family into action words: Eth-Ing, Whit-Ing, Van-Ing. Jack-Ing . . . ah, shoot. Okay, less fab than I thought.

Caitlyn's last name is so simple it sings. Cox. And man alive, she acquired an X! How sweet is that? And not to mention the alliteration she carries with her. Forever locked into cute: Caitlyn Cox.

Sister Haley also got to get alliterative. Haley Hall. And in addition to being adorably alliterative (see what I did there?), it too is a fun last name to play with. Her blog is called "Halls of Fame." And they're in for the long "hall." Hallelujah! You could do tricks like that with her last name all the live-long day.

Bummer for my mom though; Samson was banal, yet neat enough, and then the woman fell for Jack, marrying a Peterson. Demoted.

When you grow up with the last name Peterson and it dawns on you that as the chick you're the one who gets to ditch her maiden name, you itch and scout to get yourself a better one. My ma should be proud that her daughters did okay for themselves in the Married Surname Department, each upgrading quite adeptly.

That is, all of us but Mal, the most recent to wed. From Peterson to Johnson is totally a lateral move.


The Fear Fam said...

Love it.

I often tell my husband I married him for his surname. Going from Teutschman (pronounce that!) to Fear was a 1000% upgrade. I don't think anyone can top it.

And as a bonus, it makes my kids sound like superheroes.

rabidrunner said...

I gave up my alliteration when I got married. Made me sad, I have an acute affinity for alliterations.

Alicia said...

"Demoted." I laughed. I can't decide if I progessed or digressed. Both one syllable, which works with my name, I suppose. I liked this post a lot! Too funny.

Sue said...

I did totally get screwed.

Julie said...

I went from Pace to DeCoria, and pretty darn pleased that my last name now has 2 capitals. I got a total upgrade.

lindsey v said...

What a fun post. You have no idea how much I agree with it.

I went from being a McEntire -

still had to spell it out to people but it was heard of -

to VanBallegooie.

Yes, that's right. That is my last name. I didn't just put a bunch of random letters up there. And yes, you do pronounce the 'gooie' how you think you do. (The 'a' in 'Ball' is pronounced like the 'a' in 'at')

I thought it was so cool and original before I married, and now I realize what it's like to have the name. Forever. To spell out the 13 letters takes quite a few seconds and I can tell people think I'll stop saying letters soon but, no. I just keep going.

My two girls will be glad to become Smiths someday I'm sure. But my son is doomed to keep and pass the name for generations.

Misti said...

The only good thing about changing my name was I got move from the end of the alphabet to the middle. Whitlock...loved it, it was unique, not common. Little...ehh, not so much. Plus, I'm short, petite, and Little Misti is not making me happy. Enough with the puns!

Annie said...

I went from Butterworth to Jones.

Definitely a demotion.

I'm still a little bitter.

it'sliketheweather said...

Okay, I thought I had it bad, but Lindsey V gets the prize. I went from "Shure" to "Rabinowitz" My smarter sister in laws all upgraded to one-syllable, easy but unique names.

Jodi said...

Leynse here. Only 2 people in my entire life have pronounced it correctly on the first try, which is Line-z. I'm still hoping to trade it out for something easier to pronounce.

Anne said...

I may or may not have broken up with a guy because his last name was Seaman (pronounced just like the bodily fluid)...the transition lenses he wore might have also been a factor.

whitneyingram said...

Annie Butterworth is the most adorable name ever.

Janeen said...

I from having to pronounce and spell my entire last name went to just saying "Hansen with and E".
Meneghini to Hansen - I totally got ripped off!

Thrifty and Thriving said...

That is one of my priorities for when I find the right one. Nice to me? Check. Loves my ridiculous quirks? Check. Blows his nose in the other room? Check. Has an original last name? Check.

I am looking for an upgrade here.

Anonymous said...

HATE alliterative names. HATE THEM. Sorry, people with alliterative names. But you read Megan's blog so you handle opinions well.

And dude, COX? That's so x-rated. You're not too Mormon to get that, right?

I traded up in names for sure and still got to keep my initial. COULIS. That was my name. COO-liss. Or, COO-lee if you're talking about the french word for a puréed sauce. Stupid.

Romo COULD be written Romeau, silly. Maybe those people you thought had a low IQ actually parle en français and the joke's on you! :-)

Anonymous said...

(Man, I got an accenté gu in there and forgot to capitalise the F on French. Damn!)