Thursday, March 12, 2009


I used to think I was fashionable.

Then I grew up and learned the following: The Tooth Fairy was actually my mother. Bills come in all shapes and sizes. Freaking out if your pipes freeze is completely reasonable. And I'm fashionably inept.

Enter sisters:
Whit is an accessory goddess. How does she always choose the right necklace?

Caitlyn is haute and cutting-edge. I daydream about raiding her closet and stealing all she's got (then I have a follow-up dream that I fit into those clothes).

Haley has an unfailing formula for Easy Casual and manages to make clothes I've given her look as they were intended.

Mallory is what I call a Grunge Barbie. In fact, Mattel has called and she's working through a contract to allow them to mass reproduce and market her.

• And our Lola has an ever-evolving wild style that I can't hope to emulate, let alone predict.
I have a hip slew of sissies.

So I feed off of them.

Right now, I'm going to need to become Whit's fashion barnacle, for it's my aim to learn to accessorize, because I never do. Instead I appear plain as the day is long.

Problem is that though I tell myself that I'm wearing a necklace because it looks pretty and I'm tryin' to boost the ole' image, in truth, I wear necklaces and bracelets to play with them.

It's incredibly unprofessional to stand waiting for a doctor, twirling my necklace and getting caught in it. So I take it off and wrap it as a bracelet. But then I can't stop rattling for the tinkly sound it makes.

Though I'm trying, the reality dancing around this topic is that I'm too immature to accessorize.

So we're just going to have to stick with the same three pairs of gaudy earrings on rotation and my spartan wedding band.


Andrea said...

Okay, you are stupid. No offense, but duh! You always look so well put together and fashionable! I on the other hand am told by my sister that I dress like I'm stuck in the 80's! Oh well, I embrace my fashion-backwardness!

Tadd said...

I can't accessorize to save my life. I need some Whitney for that too. And I'm flattered you want my closet contents, however they are too BIG for you!

cat+tadd=sam said...

Oh Tadd, you're hilarious.

Megan said...

Nice cover, Cat.

Janeen said...

I too wish that I could always find just the right accessory but always fail miserably. I believe that there should be a class on how to accessorize and how not to fiddle the rest of the day. Guilty on that count too!

Just Sue said...

Why accessorise? it's just more stuff you have to take off and then put 'someplace' until you have to put it away.

whitneyingram said...

"The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize."

-Olymipia Ducakis in "Steel Magnolias"