Friday, January 9, 2009


It comes up from time to time that I am not a meat eater. And very often I'm asked if it is tough to eat Veg.

No sirree, I say and take another bite of falafel.

It's not tough to operate in this world as a Vegetarian. When going out ('cause I go out sometimes), people ('cause sometimes I go out with people) are often concerned about the restaurant choice and if it can accommodate their token Veg.

Don't fret, my friends
(for I have a friend or two), I say, I can rape any menu to suit my needs.

You're jonesing for a bloody slab of meat at the local steak joint?
That's no trouble for me! Chances are in my favor that they serve vegetables there. And sometimes beans too. I am bean fanatic. (And have a gastrointestinal system that's adjusted to the colon-friendly legumes, and thus does not produce excess, ahem, gas after bean consumption. Lucky me.)

You've been possessed by the Devil himself and want to reek of garlic, so we're going to the tiny trattoria down the way? Again, veggies are very often on the menu and pinenuts most always are, so I can chew and silently curse all of you for your wretched stench.

It's fiesta time? Bonus. I am a Mexian food fiend. (As any giant, eaten-in-one-sitting bag of tortilla chips can tell you.) Beans are a guarantee. They might even give me a choice of black or pinto! Maybe I'll get sassy and go with both!

I can handle my specific dietary choices without any issue in any old restaurant.

Things only get problematic when the restaurant tries to throw their Vegetarians a bone, slapping one or two meat-free items on their written selection of gourmet carcasses.

I do not like the Vegetarian staples, and it seems that every non-Vegetarian thinks I will. Or that I ought to.

Just about every Veg item that's lonely on a non-Veg menu contains one of the following: eggplant, avocado, sweet potato, coconut, or badly-prepared tofu (nicely-done tofu is a boon and a rarity).

I don't like any of them. So if I forget that it's often a mistake and order the restaurant's Veg special and I have them hold all the stuff they think I will like but actually don't, I'm generally left with a few sad stalks of broccoli and a limping potato.


So is it tough to eat Veg? Only when someone is trying to help me do it.


Lindsay said...

Hey Megan, what's with this "treat your blog like a business deal." What happened to posting on the weekends? The weekends get so boring when there is no blogging!

Shayne said...

nice post. and if you eat beans every day your body will not go into shock and you will not get gassy, go figure.

Sara said...

just found your blog today and am enjoying it! this post caused me to comment: I was a Veg for 11 years, and gave it up because of the difficulties of eating out! Exactly as you said: the items on the menu pandering to Vegs never appealed to me. I don't like tomatoes, peppers, onions or mushrooms, which in America, is pretty much all people think of when they think of Veg.
Just had to chime in. I was thrilled to see that someone else felt the same way as me about the menus!