Monday, January 20, 2014


Last Wednesday I got a text from my Whitney-sister that said, “I feel like you dropped off the face of the planet. Where are you?” I’ve been here. And there, I guess. I haven’t been up to anything all that out of my ordinary. I just haven’t been very interested in The Online.

• This is my current Facebook profile picture:

Karla, my kindred soul in the spirit of badassery, said that in this photo she sees my dad in my face. She said I have his jawline and his mouth, and she said that he and I share the same “piecing eye contact that says ‘okay, engage but don't waste my time.’" Caught us both. She made my day with that.

• I do not like truffles. The fungus kind. The chocolate kind I love.

• I do, however, like tater tots. Lots and lots, I like tots.

• I fell. I gave in. I got a Kindle Paperwhite. I resisted ereaders for years because I like physical books. I like the way they smell, and I look forward to breaking their spines. But I wasn’t reading them. I wasn’t remembering to bring books when I leave the house. I wasn’t reading in bed. But my Kindle is so damn convenient. It’s little and light and easy to keep on hand. The battery has lots of life. I can read it in bed with the lamp off, and perhaps best of all, it’s just books. The Kindle doesn’t have the same distractions that an iPad or my phone has, no Internet or texting, only words on a backlit page. With this Kindle thing I’ve got words at my fingertips, and that’s what I’ve wanted.

• I haven’t been designing. I haven’t been writing. I have been doing a lot of yoga. I need to start working harder in class though. I feel like I’ve been slacking off. While my knees feel much better than months ago, they are still quite problematic, but if I’m gentle and aware I can push it harder without injury. With increased dedication, I think I can get more from this body of mine.

• Jim always smells good. The number of times I’ve asked him how the hell he always smells so good are incalculable.

• Divorce is hardest on the kids. Everyone says this, and I think they’re right. It can take a toll pets too. During the affair/divorce stuff, my dog got too skinny and relieved her house-trained self willy nilly all over the downstairs. She’s doing much better now. In fact, my divorce ended up being the best thing in the world for my pet. While she lost one human, she gained so much more. She has a new dog best friend, Labradoodle Gus. They play together, chasing birds in Jim’s backyard. They snuggle up on Gus’ dog bed together. And she got Jim’s kids. Josie cuddles Sophie. Ben plays with her. Even Katelynn, who says she doesn't like dogs, tolerates tiny Soph. (Also, I've told Nathaniel that while my dog is about the same size as the bunnies he grew up raising for food, Sophie isn’t for eating.) And Dustin is my puppy savior. He’s the one who takes my girl when I’m out of town. It’s the ideal situation. She is in a house she knows and thinks she owns, she can go in and out as she pleases, and she gets to snuggle with Dustin at night. My divorce has come to mean that my dog got a serious life-upgrade: more people to adore her, a canine best friend, a dream dog sitter, and not one but two residences over which she believes—and not inaccurately, I think—she has free reign.

• Free the whales. I watched Blackfish. So I say we stop catching and exploiting the slippery beasts and do other things with our time, other things like, say, paint a wall, take a cake decorating class, or walk someone’s dog. Even falling into a reality TV show is a better way to be a human than capturing whales.

Being Jim’s perma-plus-one is boatloads more entertaining than when I was married to what I now see was a very boring man. A couple weeks ago we went to Jim's networking group’s holiday party at the Nevada Museum of Art. The featured exhibit was Toulouse-Lautrec, so the party was a Moulin Rouge theme. Yes, we had masks to go with our formal wear. I'm down with getting dressed up when it means we've got the museum to ourselves. I enjoy going to art museums with Jim. We stand in front of a group of pieces and try to pick out which one the other is most drawn to. I like to look at a painting while Jim tells me what he sees. Usually it’s a world different from what I see. I like art as a way to get to know your partner better. And after all that sotto voce picture lookin’ it’s fun to go downstairs where there’s a DJ and a bunch of inebriated entrepreneurs gettin’ down. My boyfriend is a good sport.

• I dig pie.

• I had my annual physical on Friday. I love getting my stats. Weight. Height. BP. Pulse, etc. I like being boiled down to a bunch of unique numbers that describe my corporeal self. But I don’t like the homework Doc gives me. She assigned labs and the flu shot that I’ve been avoiding. Therefore Jim, I’m asking you out—Sweetheart, I know you still haven’t gotten your flu shot yet either, so will you be my date to get stabbed with a virus? We can share the experience of watching me turn into a doughy ball of whimpering perspiration. Afterward I’ll buy you a smoothie.


Jim Elliker said...

Megan darling - I will be your plus one for a flu shot, family pictures, work party, dinner, movie, furniture arrangement, oil changes, hair appointment, therapy, smoothies, lunches, breakfasts, dog grooming.
I will be your plus one for anything!

Sue said...

And your sister had a baby.

Rabid said...

Oh Jim. I quite adore you (but in that you're-Megan's-Jim-kind-of-way, not that adore-adore kind of way.)

I want to free the whales too. I feel guilty now for attending the Sea World and being all sorts of entertained by their captured personalities. I think I bought one of the kids a stuff Shamu too. Shame, shame.