Sunday, March 31, 2013


• Lately—for the last week—I groan when I bend over. This one hip is killing me. 50% of my hips are giving me trouble. 50% is an F. My hips are failing me. I am old. 

• Iced herb tea is the most perfect beverage. Don’t have to worry about caffeine. Calorie free. No artificial whatnot. I love having iced tea on hand. But I often forget to make it (which means I forget to put bags in water and put that in the fridge). Okay, that's lying. I don't forget; I am just very, very lazy. So I end up drinking diet soda. 

I love Diet Dr. Pepper so much that sometimes it is quite truly the thing that motivates me out of bed. I’ll be laying in bed, beating back the day with my snooze button, and then I remember that there is DDP in the fridge. This is true: at that point my eyes fly wide open and I say to Soph, “Okay, let’s get up.” She jumps off the bed and I shamble after her. Popping the top on that can of soda first thing in the AM is just the oomph I need to do another day. That should bother me. It doesn’t. 

• This weekend’s procrastination technique: origami. I folded and folded and folded all day Saturday and a lot of today while watching The Mindy Project. Flowers, boxes, cranes. I want to be able to bust that shit out like party tricks, and in order to make paper art my jam I need to teach my hands how to do this stuff without looking at instructions. So I have dedicated myself to some practice, and that practice has resulted in a damned fine looking eight-pointed star that has no purpose at all. 

I love that my mom has never been a shopping whore. She likes the kind of shopping that gets her tools to work projects. She doesn’t do things like dump four-hundred bucks on the latest trendy bag. That means my mom is a good example.  

• I am proud of my ability to swallow pills. It’s probably the wrong thing to put on a resume—so I won’t—but I am really good at that. I have this talent for turning my throat into a perfect tunnel for, like, ten pills at once. Of various sizes. Of course I only know that from putting away a handful of vitamins at one time. And if we’re talking about just like one or two pills at a time, I can do it without liquid. 

• I had a very adult moment today. I was supposed to spend this rainy-ass Easter day at my aunt’s house in Citrus Heights, so I left this morning with my puppy. And, well, it was doing some snowing on The Pass (I like to say it like that ‘cause it makes me feel like I’m in Seven Brides for Seven Bros without the inconvenience of actually living during that time period) and I decided to turn around and go home, seeing as I’m not the best snow-driver, and I was concerned that it was gonna get more worser (that’s right, bichis: more worser) when it was time to trek home. It’s what the grown-ups do, yo. 

• Do you ever accidentally look in the mirror and want to punch yourself in the kisser ‘cause you hate the look of your hideous face? Oh, no? Yeah, me neither. Of course not. That wasn’t weird. 

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