FROM MY PROCRASTERNATORIUM . . .

Items:

• I had a dream last night that I convinced my parents to get a goat. It was a pygmy goat that stayed tiny and boasted one hell of an appetite for the lawn.

• I have two besties. They are Amber and Jess. One of them had a baby a few days ago. (Guess which!) I'm looking forward to meeting that little fella and teaching him about the second amendment and vegetarianism. It'll be quite the confusing afternoon.

• Here are a few things I really like about being on my own—filling up the whole master closet with all my clothes and shoes, a bathroom towel bar that's only wide enough for one towel, my dog all to myself, a super-organized garage, an all-vegetarian fridge, parking diagonally in the garage, and having no one but myself to answer to about budgeting.

• Here are a few things I really don't like about being on my own—yeah, I'm not telling you those. They're pretty pathetic sounding. I'll save that depressing whatnot for a different day. 

• I suppose I should do something with this Masters degree thing I got last month. What to do? What to do? How about I sell drugs, visit family, listen to audiobooks, watch food TV, do yoga, and plan mini-vacations? Sound good? Sound familiar? No, you didn't read wrong—not a word about writing was in there. I'll work on that. Perhaps.

• I want more money.

• I watched the Super Bowl last night. The whole thing. I might have hollered at the television. If I did, I couldn't help myself. Fun fact about Megan: though she's not at all into sports, get her really watching a game or on the sidelines of some sporting event, and you might meet her alter ego Psycho Soccer Mom. I pretty well kept her in check yesterday, but there have been times in the past that she's reared her bouffant head, hollering at refs, screaming when an athlete botches a play, etc. It's unnerving.

• My yoga practice is suffering. Been slacking. Four days/week isn't enough. I need at least five. Skip less to sweat more. It's time to kick it in gear, Romo. It's time to really make the mat your bitch.