Monday, September 14, 2009

DIVINE PUNK


If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. • James 1:5
When The Husband was 18, just burstin' on to young manhood, prepping for embarkation on his 2 year church mission, he figured it would be nice to know which lucky girl he'd marry when he returned home in righteous triumph.

The guy just wanted to be aware so that he wouldn't have to waste time test-driving. A pragmatic youth.

Per James 1:5, he asked God. He fell to his knees and sincerely inquired who the eternal companion was to be. And sho' nuff, an answer was given him.

Marietta Kergan.

Remember that friend? The friend of the opposite sex that you didn't think of that way? The one you never kissed? The neighborhood friend you went to school dances with on short notice and without airs? The friend that was more fun to hang out with than your stated significant other?

The Husband's was a gal named Marietta Kergan.

A little shocked but nevertheless exhilarated that Someone had been so kind as to send reply to his prayerful askin', he lept to his feet and dashed down the street to let Marietta in on the news.

In her basement, they sat. The boy gazed into brown eyes he'd never peered into with anything even approaching passion. And he told her that God had revealed to him that they'd one day wed.

She wigged out. So did her parents. It was the abrupt end to four years of platonic comfort. So long, Marietta.

But he had prayed! And had been granted an answer without any keep-it-under-your-hat contingency that he was aware of. He believed the scripture. Made the motions. Got an answer. And it blew up in his earnest face.

Basically, he got punk'd. By God.

11 comments:

mrragzz said...

Lol - he's not the first. I am definitely subscribing to these comments in trepid anticipation of MK's comments some months down the road when she comes across the post following an innocent internet query.

meg said...

MK?

meg said...

I'm an idiot. MK. Marietta Kergan. Fortunately, within parameters of the original, the name has been changed to protect a party to the punking--so it's less likely she'll stumble on this. Shame though, eh?

Kristen said...

I guess that shows that God can change his mind too - without notice.

How badly did that hurt his ego?

Kristen said...

Oops! The first his should have been capitalized.

God can change His mind too - without notice.

That's better.

rabidrunner said...

I venture to guess that The Husband wasn't punk'd at all. Maybe he was sent some bait so as to sidestep (or sideswipe) a catastrophe of sorts.

We only know what we see... not what we miss!

Misti said...

I too used to pray that I'd marry the guy I was 'madly in love with' in highschool. Glad that didn't work out.

Jessica said...

i read this post this morning, and after i read that last line i wondered:

"after she hit publish, did she get struck by lightning?"

but then, you posted some follow-up comments so it appears you are okay.

and then i pictured ashton kutcher, with his sideways trucker cap, as God. and then wondered if i was going to get struck by lightning.

rabidrunner said...

God has a sense of humor... sure of it. Ain't I the proof?

Chris and Whit said...

I dunno rabid. I think the fact that men have nipples is pretty good proof God has a sense of humor too. (Random thought, I know. But seriously...what's the point?)

meg said...

Whit, the point: "I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?" (Meet the Parents)