Monday, August 31, 2009

RATED

I devised a terrific concept for this blog.

A post rating system.

Before you see a movie you know what it's rated, and if you're the kind that uses ratings as a part of your decision-making process, you use the rating to determine your date-night plans. I have decided to rate my blog posts so you know what you're committing yourself to when starting to read or if it's even a train you should be riding. The idea may not be particularly novel, but I don't read any blogs aside from mine and yours, so how would I know if rating is all the rage? I've not a clue how long this folly will engage me and therefore last, but for now I'm quite fond of the concept.

The rating system goes as follows:

H • Harmless • Posts rated 'Harmless' won't offend a soul. They're benign. They may be uplifting. They may be uncharacteristically upbeat. They won't incite you to shake your noggin or widen your peepers. They could be quite nice.

S • Saucy • Posts rated 'Saucy' are intellectually, emotionally, and/or socially engaging, likely tinged with sarcasm and/or cynicism but aren't overly pessimistic. These posts aren't harsh enough to necessitate a B rating, for they have a wider appeal, but they may contain a certain amount of shock value and raise an eyebrow or drop a jaw. Posts can earn a 'Saucy' rating for questionable, embarrassing, or subversive subject matter as well even if subject matter is presented optimistically and without curse words.

B • Bitchy • Posts rated 'Bitchy' are very likely to offend or unnerve. They may be inflammatory or outright angering. They are cynical, negative, or sarcastic or all of the above combined, producing a conflagration sure to incite rebuke, reproach, or reverberating shouts for encore.

I • Insipid • Posts rated 'Insipid' aren't worth reading at all. Just skip over them. They may have been the child of intellectual exercise, crafted merely for the author's entertainment, a filler post, or just plain stupid.

You may not agree with the rating I designate a post, but don't tell me you've never seen a PG-13 movie that you thought should have been granted an R rating instead. Sometimes you just aren't of the majority.

If the rating I apply doesn't jive with your assessment of the post, go ahead and say so. (Like you needed my encouragement.) I do accept comments of all kinds, nasty, nice, or negligible.

10 comments:

it'sliketheweather said...

Love it! You're too funny. What font are the ratings letters? Love it!

meg said...

Why thank you, Weather. If you can't be filthy rich or breathtakingly beautiful, be too funny!

The letters' font is JFFerrule.

Hen Pecks said...

I'm hunting for an acronym: HIBS? BISH? SHIB?

meg said...

Yeah, that one failed me too. But I liked those words, so I had to go with 'em. I was lucky to get a vowel.

Jessica said...

hahahahaha. so great. i'll continue to read all posts, as usual, but now i've been warned....

Hen Pecks said...

What about MASH?
Mean
Arrogant
Slutty
Harmless

tara said...

let me try again..

this is pure genius.

and totally hilarious!

Misti said...

Excellent!

The Saucy and Bitchy ones are the best, 'cause they make me think a little harder. ;)

Markelle said...

oh good. now I know which ones I can pass on by while searching for the posts rated "B" too funny.

Reb said...

The "I" one is my favorite right next to the "B" You are too kind to your readers to let them know if they are wasting their time. I will have read all of them anyway.