Tuesday, June 2, 2009

WARSH

The shower was on and heading for Hot. I waited outside. I ran my hands through my hair and examined it in the mirror.

To wash or not to wash?

It's sorta nasty. But I could wear it up and back to disguise that. Hmm. There's some product build-up in there that may soon resemble dandruff. Bummer. Could brush that out, hopefully. No . . . Won't work. Aw, man! Looks like I'm gonna hafta wash it. And geez, I just washed it on . . . on . . . wow, when did I last lather my mop? Ah, on Sunday. And it's . . . let's see . . . it's . . . it's Friday. Well, that is quite a while, so I don't need to be all ticked off about the need to wet it down. Scalp itches anyhow, and that right there is a sign not to be ignored.

(You should know that while reading all that my mentioned-yesterday cousin Lindsay was gagging, and when we got to the part about my scalp, she threw up all over her pretty brown couch. I'm quite positive of this.)

Allow an explanation, if you would please:

My hair is a short-ish bob and does its 'do better dirty. Second and third-day hair days are the best. First-day is terrible. All fluffy and floaty. Detestable. A scungy mop works best for this particular cut on this particular head.

Granted I do hate washing my hair, for when you're one who washes their hair around twice a week, it takes for-ev-er to get it clean, as it's necessary to lather up and rinse well at least twice. And once it's finally clean and conditioned, then comes the blow-drying. The boring blow-drying. I make it bearable by reading while I dry but just barely bearable at that. And once the hair's dry, it's time to iron. After the ironing there's the ratting, and spraying, and smoothing, and styling.

The whole process takes much longer than I'm willing to spend each and every day. (Yes, yes, I see where your thoughts are heading. We'll talk later about the wisdom of such a cut on my undedicated, impatient head.)

When I get to work with dirty hair, all that's involved in the process is the ironing and styling. And because the hair retained some styling product from the previous day, there's less shaping to do. Some days my hair just has its own memory. Delightful and expedient.

Thus I love shower caps.

Anyhow returning to our tale, it was Friday and I resentfully, reluctantly washed my hair. It made for one heck of a good hair day on Saturday. And had the potential to make for saucy looking locks on Sunday. That is if The Husband hadn't ripped off my cap in the shower. Not in lusty throes or anything like that, mind you. Out of spousal mischief, 'cause the man knew it would boil my blood.

And boil it did. Threw off my whole day. For when I know I have to wash my hair, I get up earlier. Of course I didn't get up earlier on Sunday; it was only third-day hair! So I was late. Thanks to the knowing mischief of one man.

16 comments:

Lindsay said...

My gagging began when you mentioned it required multiple washes. That is the first indicator that you need to wash your hair more frequently! Your dirtiness is masked well cuz you can never tell that it has been 5 days or 1 day since your last cleaning. When I have washed my hair on the second day I feel like such a scrub, how you do 5 I will never understand. Props to you on saving time, that's why I would do it, too...but I believe in personal cleanliness. :)

Jeannie said...

let's hear it for hair issues. only those who *have* them can understand this post.

i am SO there.

i love my hair when it's done and can stay done. i need my heat and styling as an air-dry just won't do.

and if my husband ripped off my shower cap? there would be blood.

everyone knows second- or third-day hair makes the best styles. fourth-day, yep, it's time to start again.

Jodi said...

I'm a two-day cycler due to an obnoxious, oily scalp and fine curls but I will do just about anything to keep the cycle at two days instead of back to back washings. Amen.

Alicia said...

I had to smile at this post. I HATE styling my hair. HATE it. But I HAVE to. If I don't... well... lets not talk about that.
I feel yah. If I hadn't been planning to do the whole nine yards to my hair - I would be PO'd at DH if he pulled a stunt like that. What are you plotting to get back at him?

meg said...

Excellent question, Alicia. Actually, he was getting me back for 3 things. (I was so bugged that I told him it had to account for 3 of my trixy episodes.) One time shooting a mouthful of water at him in the kitchen. Another time shooting a mouthful of water at him in a parking lot. And one time flicking a spoonful of beans at rice at him in the kitchen. I'm so trixy.

Janeen said...

I can only make it 2 days sometime 3 but by the time day 4 rolls around I have to wash because my scalp hurts.

Washing and styling just mess up my day, I have far more important things to do, like read my favorite blogs.

ray-ray says said...

I have naturally curly hair. Haaaated it growing up. Now I love it more than ever.

I don't brush my hair. Ever. And I shampoo maybe once a month. But oh boy! Do I go through conditioner!!

The blow-drying takes the longest and I too read to try and pass the time.

And that would be the one thing I could not live without---my diffuser/hair dryer!

cat+tadd said...

Preachin' to the choir, or rather the preacher.

Oh, and I envy Ray-Ray. Once a month!!!

meg said...

Cat I waited the whole live-long day for your affirmation. You are my dirty-haired compatriot.

ash said...

ugh, i totally am there with you. And I thought I was alone. relief. see, thats why i love your blog. you don't give a rats ace and ya say things that we're all "hush, hush" about. Love you for it! keep em comin'

meg said...

Wait, ash, I'm supposed to be "hush, hush" about my filthy hair? Ugh. I never knew.

Lars said...

I have been blog stalking you for some time and figured I would finally come out. I have naturally curly hair and once I go through the tiring process of straightening I like it to remain that way for at least a week. Try using a swim cap. You may have to restyle some but I doubt the husband will be able to get it off. Also I use a spoonful of baking soda with my shampoo and it strips all the nasty away.

meg said...

Lars, delightful to have you! A swim cap! Now that's the kind of gold you should have made me dance for! Thanks!

somethinggirl said...

I laughed so hard at this that I choked on one of the chortles because I could have written this whole thing myself and only changed the hairdo. I hate "getting ready". It bores me to tears. I could be on the computer! I could be reading! Even putting on make up is more fun.

Confession: I don't even do shower caps. My antiperspirant works great. And there's ahem, spot washing. Occasionally: baths.

Wendy said...

You're lucky. I have to wash my hair every single day. The fortunate news is I have what my hair dresser calls "great beach hair" -- I just get out of the shower and towel it a little. No drying, styling, some days I don't even brush it. So I guess that's worth an every day wash!

meg said...

No Wendy, you are the lucky one! No major styling invoved? Lucky ducky.