Friday, May 15, 2009

MORE EVERY DAY

Maybe your blog is one of them. One of those blogs that in the "About Me" section proclaims that you have a husband and you love him more every single day (!!!).

Really? You love him more every day? How is that quantifiable?

Well, it isn't. The supposed sentiment behind triteness isn't susceptible to measurement.

I love my spouse, but, c'mon, not more every day. Some days we really make each other mad. And on those days, not only do I not love him more than I did the day before, I'm not quite sure I even like him.

And then there are the days that it's torturous to leave him and get on with my day. Days when I love him so much that I want to smoosh him into a little ball so that I can carry him in around in my pocket. But even on those blessed days, I am not quite sure I love him more than yesterday. I know I love him. But I also know I can't measure it. Is it more? Is it less? Are we at a homeostatic point in our flux? That being my frame of reference, it makes me batty to read that some wife claims to love her spouse more every single friggin' day.

As the world-class, delving-deeper-than-is-good-for-me cynic that I am, I don't believe that those wives really do love their spouse more every day.

It's not that I think they're lying. Rather, mentally, they're disengaged. Emotionally, they're unaware. And socially, they're inhibited. Essentially, they're banal and uninteresting.

Sorry if that's you I was just talking about. Sort of.

26 comments:

Hen Pecks said...

Always on the edge... That's my Megan.

I love your father "more than yesterday, less than tomorrow." (birds singing in the background, grass blowing gently in the breeze. I'm wearing a pink billowy dress and skipping - barefoot - down a country lane edged by wildflowers. Occasionally I twirl. Can you see it?)

Brandon and Julie said...

I immediately discredit the validity any blog that uses excessive exclamation points in regards to anything involving their life or the perfection of every tiny thing that happens. If you are using excessive exclamation points, I don't buy it. I don't believe you. Especially in regards to husbands and/or how EASY it is to raise children.

Bull.

The Fear Fam said...

Crap, now I have to change my profile.



Kidding... that phrase bothers me as well. As does the phrase pedi/mani. Or GNO. Or almost anything that can be found on "Seriously So Blessed." I'm sure I've slipped up and written something annoying like that, but I try to be vigilant.

Hen Pecks said...

Oh dear, I'm so old. What does "GNO" mean???

meg said...

Girls' Night Out

Hen Pecks said...

AHHH! I see. Thanks.

I thought it might be something like
Gross Naughty Overtures
Good Night Oreos
Gone Nuts/Overwhelmed
Great Noble Ovarian

It really could have been anything...

Amanda said...

I'm a silent reader. I don't think I have used "I love you more than yesterday" phrase on the blog...but I do say it to my husband in real life (cue groan here).

Maybe I married my husband too quickly. Because the phrase "I love him more everyday" usually has to do with the fact that I learned one more good thing about him that I didn't know before, so there's more to love. Ironically, after those fights/annoyances there's usually a increase of that warm fuzzy feeling (the one you get when you want to put your husband in your pocket) and comfort in the knowledge that we're going to make it one more day. And our marriage is that much stronger than whatever argument we had. I can understand your annoyance with the term. It's so...flat. And devoid of the nuances and sometime outright pain of marriage. But I still believe it.

Sorry. Don't mean to be annoying. But I figured I'd speak up. You can label me. It's okay. I can take it (once I have my cry in the corner).

Clever posts.

Shelby Lou said...

your mom is funny! haha

okay so here is the skinny. I haven't commented in forever, and I know how you BEG for comments. ;) Anyways, I think that as you get older you learn to love people more and more. Not more EACH DAY but just over time. I don't have a hubby to compare this to, or even a silent lover. I just know the love I have for my family and friends. I guess you could call it appreciation but it feels like a lot more then that. Now that I live on my own its like my heart has grown so much bigger because I realized how much I love my family now that I am not with them.

mazelmazel, good things (along came polly is SUCH a good movie)

~Morgan~ said...

yes yes yes. and also, "we couldn't be happier"
you couldn't be happier? come on. really? not even a little? you're telling me your the HAPPIEST YOU CAN POSSIBLY BE? i don't know, if you say so...

Keli'i and Megan said...

I love this post, but your mom's comments are awesome too. Yes, I come by my faults honestly...being a mom is hard and Keli'i, more often than not, bugs the freak out of me. But, I still love him, most days! C'mon people! Let's be real here! Perfection is SO BORING! Nobody likes it.

rookie cookie said...

It is a quite flippant phrase. Void of meaning and depth. And meaning and depth are achieved through hard times and testing experiences. Experiences when you don't love every little thing about your spouse.

WV: rants. No lie.

meg said...

Nice to meet you, Amanda. Glad you stopped by to speak. You put definition, meaning, and explanation behind what the phrase is for you. And each marriage is different.

I'm actually quite sure you know what my intentions were with this post, and that's why I love the Remarks readers so well. They don't have to agree with or like what I've said, but sometimes, my jabber gives them cause to respond--meaningfully, with silliness, sarcastically, seriously, or just plain honestly.

Glad to have you as part of our little community 'round here.

J said...

i chuckled out lout as a i read this. Remarks is always a good way to start my day. the "about me" sections of blogs usually make me laugh. i tend to go to them first. some are clever, many are silly and unrealistic. i try to stay away from blog surfing too much because of comments like "i love him more everyday", because then it starts my internal thought process going with "why don't I love my husband more everyday?" and so on, and so forth, because seriously husbands are difficult sometimes (as am I...).

i appreciate your honesty/humor and your ability to say things in such a clever way. keep it up!

rabidrunner said...

I love you more every day. How's that!?

Very fond of the "world-class, delving-deeper-than-is-good-for-me cynic". Very nice.

Ash said...

This is funny, because it's true. I love my husband more over time, mostly because of the things we've been through together--good and bad. A lot of times, the bad things help us grow closer. I don't write about the bad on my blog because it's none of anyone's business. I choose to write about the good... selective editing. And because I know people can read it, I keep personal details to a minimum anyway. Yes, sometimes my husband bugs me. Happens to everyone.

I don't like blogs that paint every aspect of life as perfect. Mine isn't, so why's yours? It's not. Annoying. But I'm also not the type to rant about my life and/or problems to the world. So it goes both ways. Sorry for such a lengthy comment.

rabidrunner said...

I just read the comments. Great Noble Ovarian??? That is s dang funny. I'm going to be that. Kudos to the clever Hen.

I'm old too. Had no clue what GNO stood for.

Brandon and Julie said...

I didn't know what GNO was either. I thought some idiot girl didn't know how to correctly abbreviate gyneoclogy.

Who is the idiot now? Oh, I guess that would be me.

The Fear Fam said...

Your mom's GNO choices are killin' me!

And Julie (or is it Brandon?), that is one of the main reasons I dislike the GNO abbreviation. It reminds me too much of those fun ob/gyn visits.

Rachel Mae said...

I think this is why I've avoided writing anything in the "About Me" at all. I don't really want to sum myself up in a few sentences--it sort of depresses me to try. Perhaps that's why this is my favorite About Me I've ever read (a friend from grad school): http://12easypieces.com/about

Amanda said...

Thanks for the welcome Meg.

And you're right-I knew exactly what you meant ;).

I totally thought GNO was referring to GYNO or something. Shows my medical knowledge...

Jeannie said...

i better go see what i wrote in the 'about me' section.

Lisa said...

Pretty sure those well-meaning wives are just using that over-used phrase to simply say, "This marriage thing is tough sometimes, but we are doing it. And I actually still love him. A lot. Sometimes I'm annoyed. But mostly, I'm still amazed that he's mine. Every day." And I don't find a thing wrong with it. I doubt they are trying to prove that their love is quantifiable, just that a person's ability to love can increase--probably through sacrifice, service, hard-times... Disengaged, banal, uninteresting? Since when does digging your spouse make you so? I find this post completely uninteresting. But I look forward to another, per usual. Now I am off to write a post dedicated to my most awesome spouse...'cause for some reason, the mood strikes me.

meg said...

Most people don't leave crazy-long comments when they find something "completely uniteresting."

rookie cookie said...

Sha-zam!

Lisa said...

Touche!

I am still trying to figure out why I was so irritated (slash irritating) that day...do women still blame PMS? Put me down for that excuse.

meg said...

PMS is a perfect excuse. I use it. And it's legitimate. Which sucks. Wish I could just pretend.