Tuesday, March 31, 2009

NATURE OF ECONOMICS

The Economy.

We're already using it as the excuse for anything we can't afford or just don't want to purchase--like a birthday present for your intrusive Aunt Effie.

Sorry no gift this year, Aunt Effie, what with The Economy and all.


Though the truth of the matter is that you forgot about her birthday, don't really like her much anyhow, and wanted the 20 bucks for lunch out with a friend, tell her it was all the fault of The Economy that she didn't get another Willow Tree figurine and she'll understand, sigh, squeeze your shoulder sympathetically, and shake her blue head at the wretched state of things.

It's time we make good use of The Economy and put it to work for us. We've already started adding The Economy to our ritual financial excuses, so how about we start making The Economy our reason for all wrong-doings, mishaps, faux pas, and moments of forgetfulness?

An officer pulls you over. Ma'am, do you know how fast you were going?

Yes, 30 miles over. But well, officer . . . what with The Economy and all.

He nods. He knows. He lets you go without a ticket.

You teacher asks, Megan, where's your homework?

Ah. I didn't do it, Mrs. Watson. You know, what with The Economy being the way it is.

She nods. She knows. She gives you an A.

You didn't show up to work one day. At noon, the boss calls, Megan, where are you?

Oh, I slept in. Was extra sleepy thanks to The Economy.

He nods. He knows. He gives you an extra vacation day.

Forgot to plan your lesson for church on Sunday. You say to your class, I didn't plan a lesson for today, boys and girls, what with The Economy and all . . .

They nod. They know (it's the excuse their parents used when forgoing birthday presents this year). They sit quietly for the remainder of Sunday School reading their scriptures.

Above: some benign starters. Consider: on a grander scale, what else can we come up with (or have actually used)?

8 comments:

Jaime Stephens said...

I loved the excuse of El Nino... That was a good one.

Ashley Thalman said...

oh sheet. Willow Tree figurine.

Heather said...

I LOVE this post! Thanks!

Shayne said...

I didn't pay my mortgage you know with the economy and all the way it is so I now what the tax payers to pay my mortgage oh yes and those credit cards I racked up buying pointless stuff while I should have been paying my mortgage can you pay that too. Sorry I am having an issue with all the bail outs and poor spending habits of most

rabidrunner said...

"What with the..." That'll be my phrase today. What with April Fools day tomorrah... What with the wheather... What with my corns...

Good 'n!

(I believe, however, that your natural use of "What with" just might have given us all a clue as to where you comed from.)

meg said...

Good think I don't try to hide it then, 'eh?

meg said...

Ah, and Jaime, I'm so bummed I left a mention of El Nino out of this post. El Husband and I were just talking about that yesterday!

Keli'i and Megan said...

Yes, "Why are your kids running outside crazy like naked savages?" Oh yeah, well, with the economy and all...my parenting skills just aren't what they should be. Good thing I have an excellent excuse for my kids' bad behavior! I think I'll use that at swim lessons today.