Wednesday, December 10, 2008


Ashley agreed with me, so I thought you might too.

It's okay to tell your spouse everything. If someone tells me a secret and makes me promise not to tell anyone, I hope they know that when I agree I won't tell a soul, I'm excluding The Husband. It's a given.

A few years ago, via telephone, my mom shared with me a piece of highly confidential information. Now, I don't remember what it was. But I do remember that I was begging for the tidbit and in order to get her to give it, I had to pledge secrecy.

You can't tell anyone.

I wouldn't! I couldn't! I'm an island! (Lived in Vegas without mi familia.) An island, I tell you. Alone.

Yeah, except for the SS [Insert name of My Husband] in your surrounding ocean.

YesYesYesYes, but he is rigged for a silent running.

And that right there is an important part of the spouse-spouse secret-telling relationship. They can't tell. You're not supposed to share your secret with anyone, but in your mind the spouse doesn't count.

After you've told the spouse, your rebellious need to spill the secret is absolved. (For there is almost a need, isn't there? When you receive the gift of a secret and promise not to tell, don't you kinda sorta wanna to tell anyhow? Not that I would, of course; I'm a vault . . . ) Now that means you've transferred the burden of secret-keeping to the spouse. And they'd better bear the burden well. Or you're toast.

Sure, sure, there are things you choose not to tell the spouse, but that restriction is intuitive and subjective. But with everything else, just count on the concept of When You Tell Meg You Tell [Husband].

It's safer that way.


Lynley said...

I've had this exact conversation with friends before. If you don't want their husband to know, don't tell them either. Because spouses are equal parts right? They are your other half. Why wouldn't they know everything you know!

M to the E to the R to the I said...

I agree. The best it when I forget to tell Nate that he is supposed to know (Ie: someone's pregnant) and he gets caught acting surprised. It's hilarious. Then I feel bad for the guy, he's not a good actor.

Holly Anderson said...

So you're telling me that {your husband's name} knows all about that "rashy itch" I've been dealing with?