Tuesday, August 19, 2008

VICIOUS, MALICIOUS HARE

My dog is fat.

Oh she might not look it, but the pup got plump.

How could that be? You may wonder, She's no bigger than a minute! Well this minute of mine is a fatty beast. How do I know? As a general rule, a canine companion's weight is healthy if you can easily feel their ribs but not see them. I have to do some serious digging to find Sopher's riblets.

My chubby puppy usually weighs in at 4.7 pounds, but at the vet last week, the porker tipped the scale with a hefty 5.1 pounds, and I'd even been starving her for three days. (I hate you if you believe I'd actually do that.) Do the math (and then email me the result of your calculations, because I think I may suffer from dyscalculia) and you'll see that such a small amount of weight gain is actually quite a bit on my should-be-bitty beast.


Intervention now.

Being as small as she is, I figured walking Soph was unnecessary. I mean, good grief, she gets [what I thought was] plenty of exercise on our stairs, as our version of fetch entails tossing her toy over the banister for her to fly downstairs to retrieve. Apparently, it just wasn't enough.

So, I'm behaving as a good master ought and we're walking. We walk early in the morning, and save for a few joggers and walkers, the community is pretty still.

Except for that mean-spirited rabbit.

'Round here (I talk like that 'cause I live in Sparks) we have jack rabbits. And one a' them varmits has it out for my dog.

In the same spot most every morning, this nasty rabbit comes bounding out of the bushes. across the sidewalk, back into the bushes and disappears into a crevice in the rock retaining wall. Sophie goes bananas, straining against her leash with all her 5.1 pound might, trying to get to that free-spirited, taunting, and, in my opinion, downright mean rabbit.

No way it's the same rabbit every day! You may say. You're wrong. So what if they all look the alike? I'm quite sure that the best part of this particular rabbit's day is the part where it gets to bait my stuck-on-a-leash dog. I'm of a mind to let my beast off her leash to ferociously ('cause she's ferocious) tear that rabbit limb from limb.

Only, even in her current round state, she's barely half the size of that spiteful coney.

I suppose that's a prize fight that will never take place.

1 comment:

cat+tadd said...

Such a ferocious little beast she is.