Wednesday, November 14, 2007

7 FACTS FOR 7 OTHERS

Tag . . .

For my own behalf, I have changed the rules. I was never a fan of tag in elementary school; I’ve never run fast enough, and the anxiety I experience when trying to avoid being the one who has to run after everyone else is enough to send a first-grader into cardiac arrest.

Here are what the directions for this tag game were:
Share 7 facts about yourself. Tag 7 people at the end of your post and list their names with link to them. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.

Here’s what the directions are now:

Take the seven facts that sister Caitlyn posted on her blog and add to them. After that, don’t tag seven people because, be honest with yourself, Megan, your anti-social nature makes it so that you don’t even know seven people.

Again, these seven facts are in response to my sister, Caitlyn’s, blog, where she so graciously tagged me and where you can read her original facts that I’ve added to or amended. (I’ve never been one to play by conventional rules—I like rules, I just like to make them up for myself.)

1. Caitlyn is ridiculous for having such an extreme fear of spiders.

2. Regarding Caitlyn’s birth, it did not go down as she states (read her version; it’s hilarious and when I first heard the story she’s believed her entire life I laughed so hard that I stopped breathing, and Caitlyn had to perform mouth-to-mouth—it’s thanks to her I’m still alive).

In fact, rather than her story, here’s the truth: Caitlyn was turned sideways in Mom’s tummy when it was nearly time to come out, and rather than doing as Caitlyn believes they did (no, I won’t give it away—go read it for yourself), the doctors dug into their secret stash of Scarab Beetles and let the little bugs burrow under mom’s skin and into her womb (bless it’s dear, departed soul). When in there with fetus Cat, they worked together to turn her head-down-and-feet-up. Once done, they worked their way to my mom’s gastrointestinal tract, moved from the colon to the small bowel, up the small bowel to the esophagus, and right out her mouth where she collected them and still has their little skeletons in a small jewelry box on the top shelf of her closet.

3. Regarding Caitlyn’s inimitable smile, the way it was actually created (read her version on her blog—go on, entertain yourself) was while the beetles were in the womb with Cat, one of them bit her near her lip. After the beetles left, she just couldn’t quit scratching the bug bite, and, by Heaven’s grace, she came out with the result of her stratchin’ and scratchin’—a perfectly adorable and rare grin that I wouldn’t want her to change for all Jimmy Choos on the planet.

4. Although Caitlyn has never broken a bone, had stitches, or been stung be a bee, every mosquito west of the Mississippi flocks to her like confused and hormonally charged men and women flock to Las Vegas.

5. Despite the fact that Caitlyn has convinced Tadd how wonderful cuddling is, she has not managed to convince him that she deserves an unlimited shopping budget—somehow though that doesn’t seem to stop her . . .

6. Though there are certain things that Caitlyn is very particular about, she has no problem never washing her jeans ever or her hair more than once weekly. (Hey Pot, this is Kettle: You black!)

7. Sooner than later—should I have anything to do with it (and I can be pretty persuasive when I entice people with money), Caitlyn is going to see the wrong of her ways and cut back on the Diet Coke.

3 comments:

Tadd and Cat said...

I'm laughing so hard! And don't fool yourself, one of the beetles lodged itself IN my lip, that's the real story! Mom with the skeletons...clever! You're pretty messed up, ya know?

Suep said...

You are both disgusting and the REAL story is in Caitlyn's blog comments. But hey, were either of you EVER concerned with telling the truth???

Suep said...

Megan - you remember something from your childhood!