Saturday, September 29, 2007

PHARMA-SEUSS-ICALS

ODE ON THE FIVE-DAY MEETING

If never you’ve spent four days on your duff
Meeting for hours ‘til you’ve had quite enough,
You ought to try out pharmaceutical sales
After you do, you’d sure have some tales
Of long, long meetings from dawn until night
Of waiting in airports and missing your flight
Of learning new lingo and how to behave
So you can be truly useful and a little bit brave

Once you’d have joined that great pharma way
You’d know what it’s like living buffet to buffet
You’d have chowed on chicken each time that you sup
Barbequed, roasted and chopped in a cup
Once you’re in pharma and doing your job
Talking to docs ‘til your lips and head throb,
It will become apparent you really aren’t smart
And need some more training and thus must depart

You’ll leave your loved ones ‘bout four times a year
To gather with teammates for training and beer
(Unless, of course, you don’t drink that brew,
In that case it’s soda or water for you)
You’ll role play and role play for hours on end
To the point you forget that it’s only pretend
At night when you sleep (if even you can)
You’ll role play on loop and review your sales plan

When you finally return, tired as hell
You’ll have learned lots of stuff and be ready to sell
Though eyes will be blurry and speech will be slurred
You’ll be well aware of which drugs are preferred
And for each situation involving your brand
You’ll have five, six or seven strategies planned.
(Though you sure won’t recall the name of your spouse
When you finally get home and collapse in your house)

Once you’ve been trained on smart things to say
And how to add value—not be in the way
You’ll be prepared to go home to your docs
To chat managed care and arrange speaker talks
No longer camped out in that nice big hotel
You’ll relish your bed and have stories to tell.
Your product’s core message will be top of mind
And your selling skills will be all but refined.

If this isn’t your life, you’re surely not me
Cause now that it’s through, I’m feeling quite free . . .

5 comments:

Jaime Stephens said...

wow look at you little mrs poem... I loved that it was fun... Well the poem part it sounds like the meeting and stuff wasn't so fun :)

Lynley said...

Megan-Who do you work for? My Father-In-Law is a regional manager for Alcon. Anywho..very creative on the poem. I can hardly muster up correct english for my blog!

Janeen said...

Megan-
You are hilarious and crack me up. Your life is as crazy as mine. Glad to hear from you. I hope that you love Reno. Next time was down at Sue’s we will have to drive out and see you and Mark.
Love and Miss you terribly!

Meri, Nate and Solee said...

Ha ha, so cute.

Pop & Ma Peterson said...

I would like to think I can claim some credit for your literary talent - but, alas, I dare not, else I am struck by lightening!