Saturday, March 16, 2013


• My goal for 2013 is to make as little money as possible. I’ve been doing tax stuff. It is monumentally depressing. I feel I have already given the federal government money enough for 2012, but those sons of bitches want more. So this year I will be turning down every single design/print project that comes my way, because I don’t want one cent in addition to my drug sales income. I realize that this approach may be unconventional, pretty stupid, and even unAmerican, but dammit, it’s what I’ve decided. Now the real bummer in all this is that since I’ve decided to stop making money, I have consequently decided to stop spending money. That’s gonna be a helluva chore. But it’s a game I’ve decided to win. It would be helpful if someone could figure out how to cut off my access to Amazon.

• Graduate school diploma arrived today. Where am I hanging it? Silly reader, I’m not hanging it. I’m filing it away in my office closet with the undergrad one. The walls in my house are cluttered enough. And though I’m happy to have this MFA thing, I’m not proud enough of it to put the diploma in a place where I'll see it frequently. I’m not kidding about that. If I see it every day I think I'd make a bigger deal of it than it is, and this thing's just a stepping stone to taking my writing seriously. (I just started laughing.)

• I talked to Little Sister Lola today. It's been too long since we chatted. I miss her. She is interesting and, even better, interested in me! I need to talk to more people who let me just talk about myself. 

• All I want to do is eat.

• I need to be significantly more awesome that I am now. I therefore need to be significantly less lazy than I am now. And I probably shouldn’t waste time on this blog.

• My dog committed a crime. Earlier today my office looked like post-tornado Midwest. She got into my trash and made a mess bigger than what I thought she was capable of. Best to not underestimate the 6-pound dog. Also best not to throw away two pieces of buttered bread in a garbage can to which she has access. Tonight that beast might weigh 7 pounds.

• I went to a Bikram yoga master class in Truckee today. It was three hours, and Ida taught. I’d pay just to watch her practice. I love seeing beautiful yoga. In this class I learned that I don’t need to tuck my chin all the way to my chest in Sasanagasana (else I roll onto the back of my head). I learned that hips are gonna do as they will in Dandayamana-Dhanurasana. And I learned that I should pay closer attention to the gas gauge in my car. Oh, wait, I learned that after class.

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