Friday, February 15, 2013


• I love scrubs. Not the outfits medical professionals wear. I love facial and body scrubs. I'm a sucker for key lime pie, dogs of all kinds, black pencil skirts, and exfoliants. My bathroom cabinets are well-stocked with all sorts of cosmetic goos aiming to slough dead cells from my skin. In the shower this morning I was digging into a new product—one that smells like gingerbread, as it turns out—and the pot slipped from my hands and shattered on the shower floor. I looked down and said, "It seems that glass in the shower is unadvisable." Since I hadn't yet put in my contact lenses, picking up the shards was extra fun, a very tactile experience, you could say. The scrub landed on the floor in the firm shape of it’s container. So I saved it in a plastic bag. I only tried the stuff twice, so how can I know if it’s worth buying again if I don't hang onto it?

• Fact: you can’t hide from the consequences of your choices. It’s just a matter of time before they find your ass, drag it behind the woodshed, and beat the shit out of you. And you’ll deserve every last whack. You can’t bulldoze your way through people and not expect to be, say, loathed. Just sayin’.

• So I have a dilemma. See, since I want people to do the same for me, I'm the girl that will tell you when you have something stuck in your teeth or a bat in the cave. But do I tell the lady in front of me in yoga class that she’s got quite a lot of pubic hair bursting from her tiny shorts? And if I do, how do I do it without gagging?

• Today was therapy day. Every other week I see a shrink. I go because I need some help. I need help getting past the severe rejection of my divorce. I need help figuring out how to be okay with me and how to let people love me if that’s what they want to do. I got myself a psychologist because I know that my mental health is my responsibility. I like to be good at things, and I want to be good at living my life. So I did one of the things I do best: I engaged a resource. Bonus: she has a therapy dog, and his fur is oh, so soft.

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