Monday, November 30, 2009

ICE SCREAM


My ice cream slave bought some Mocha Almond Fudge this weekend, and instead of going to yoga tonight, I decided to eat some.

And for that I was uniquely punished.

I came home from work, scooped of the carton into a mug and enjoyed it in front of a movie--Air Force One to be precise. Then I painted my fingernails and toenails black.

Because I'm a rather rotten nail artist, I required the assistance of some nail polish remover to clean up. Once done with the acetone-soaked cotton ball, for lack of a better place, I dropped it into my empty ice-cream mug.

You find yourself glimpsing In The Know, dontcha?

A couple hours later, I wanted some more ice cream. Idiot pig. So I grabbed my mug, went back down to the freezer, scooped out some more from the dwindling stash, dropped it in the mug, and went back upstairs to my office.

Spoonful after spoonful: crunchy deelish.

Until . . .

I saw what looked to be a giant piece of coffee-ice-cream-coated fudge waiting for me at the bottom of the mug. My goodness, I thought I'd hit the jackpot and promptly spooned it into my awaiting trap.

Funny texture.

Sort of cottony.

And what . . . what . . . what the hell is that bitter, chemical taste?

And then I noted my newly blackened fingernails.

Nail polish remover as an aftertaste is less-than-desirable.

18 comments:

NatTheFatRat said...

My dogs have eaten acetone-soaked cotton swabs enough times for me to know that you PROBABLY won't die.

Did it kind of taste like egg nog? I always think egg nog is a little like how I'd imagine nail polish remover would taste. (I LOVE egg nog, so I'd probably love the remover too?)

Jessica said...

Shut up. That did not just happen. I just laughed out loud. Not at you, but at the situation. Sounds like something I would do. If I painted my nails.

Sparks said...

I can't stand egg nog.

And I now know that I can't stand nail polish remover.

I'm not quite sure if it is because they taste the same.

Great, now I'm on the same level as Barnaby.

Sparks said...

Oh, it did happen.

And please, Jessica, laugh AT me.

Jessica said...

Okay, if you insist...

Sparks said...

You're so accommodating.

Jessica said...

I do tend to be a people pleaser.

Sparks said...

You have pleased me with your people-pleasing skills.

NatTheFatRat said...

No no Megan, Peter Pan. Does that make you feel better? Or worse . . . ?

Sparks said...

Better. Barnaby seems more like the poop-eating kind.

My25Cents said...

You ate Mocha Almond Fudge and didn't think to invite me? Yep, I'll remember that for a long time to come.... LOVE that frozen heaven-in-a-box.

Egg nog scented/flavored polish remover... Nope. Don't see a future QVC hit with that one anytime soon.

Thanks for showing your human side.

Sparks said...

Showing my human side, Cents? I feel like that's all I ever do here!

Kelsey Carreon said...

YUCK!! Is there any ice cream left? take one more bite of it then you don't have that nasty after taste anymore. I am not really an ice cream fan but I had some Salted Caramel ice cream in Seattle this past summer that I still crave. mmmm

Sparks said...

No worries, Kelsey, I took care of the aftertaste with some more ice cream. And I have the stomach ache to prove it.

Salted Caramel ice cream? My gosh, that sounds celestial.

And you're not an ice cream person? Do you also try to hit puppies with your car and laugh at little kids when they're crying? Good grief.

My25Cents said...

Maybe using the word "human" was too broad a description? Maybe I should have said "Thanks, Sparks, for showing us you can be a complete moron whose actions, on occasion, can be completely dictated by her belly. You know, like the rest of us losers."

How's that for a translation?

Sparks said...

A perfect translation and the 100% truth.

Greeneyes said...

Ooooh. Glad to read you washed that taste out of your mouth with somethin' better.

I once inadvertently swigged Spic 'N Span floor cleaner, yet I wasn't coherent enough to chase it with something tasty. You're on to something here...I say you advise Poison Control of this palate cleansing step asap.

Rae Lynne said...

I was having a crappy morning 'til I read that. Oh how terribly funny!