I really threw my head at my last post and didn't have anything scheduled for you today; so when I woke up this morning with no motivation to work up any one of the the post ideas I have stored on this loving machine, I felt sorry for anyone who was going to land here looking for something shiny and new. Poor souls were going to be met with the same long diatribe on The Kid Question that they [mostly] read yesterday.
But, as the Internet so often does, it provided the fodder I needed to leave you something to entertain.
Sherlock Craptastic flatters me in thinking that the world reads my blog rather than just a few hundred stalwarts. Or maybe he thinks that you are the world. Think on that. And then be flattered right down to your knickers.
Apparently, there's a relatively new blogger on the block. Bless my lucky stars; if he hadn't dropped by Remarks I wouldn't have known that I needed to fry up a plate of Rookie's Pumpkin Churros and run them over to his place with a carefully hand-scrawled note of Welcome!
My guess is that he's a loser who still lives in his mother's basement but isn't smart enough to be a hacker like all his other Hot Pocket-eating friends in ill-fitting StarWars tees; so he surfs the blogosphere leaving comments on blogs he's never read before telling them that their space sucks.
Does that sound about right or do you have any better ideas?
Doesn't this nitwit know that I only like obsequity?
Reminds me a bit of our sweet Devra, leaving Whitney parenting advice when she wasn't a regular reader.
Only this sweetie left a comment seemingly designed to make me understand that this blog is Crap. (I could be misunderstanding, of course; I'm just going on his handle.) I'm also considering despairing--if the dude actually did plow through the whole kid post--that the detective is affected; for if he recalls reading that I said I won't have kids, he is living in a pretend world of some kind. The post didn't say that.
If I didn't have blog readers to keep me entertained--positively or otherwise--I just may need to up that anti-depressant. Fortunately we have souls like Sherlock who selflessly forge through the Internet (when they really should consider their weekly shower instead), knocking random blogs in hopes of a venomous response on their own special little spot on the web. It's that kind of altruism that reminds me of humanity's sugar core.
•••
As a side note, Whit is giving away some food-themed Logophilia prints.
I know, I know--leave it alone already, Megan. We're sick and damn tired of your silly prints popping up on your mom's blog, Stephmodo, NatTheFatRat, Dear CJane, and your own blog. Sorry, people. For some of that exposure I took a hammer to the ole' piggy bank.
Just know that my promptings weren't the impetus for the the lil' giveaways my mom and sister put together; I didn't seek 'em out. Those two just think I'm that good. And that's what family's for, isn't it?
15 comments:
well said.
and an impressive display of spotting the sparkly silver lining of inspiration.
I had to take a gander at the good ol' Sherlock blog. I found it interesting the he has several posts advertising his ability to 'anal'yze a blog at the bloggers request. He obviously ran into trouble finding people who desire his help. Thus, he finds it necessary to poke his snout where he is not wanted nor belongs. Looking at the comments he recieves I conclude that he is obviously some twisted freak who gets off on frustrating people he doesn't know. He probably wears his Sherlock costume around the UK taking the opportunity to flash the innocent as well. There you have my two bits on the matter.
I love your way with words. I need you around the next time I have a nasty encounter with someone. I can never think of what to say until it is too late.
Winder, that was magnificent. "He probably wears his Sherlock costume around the UK taking the opportunity to flash the innocent as well."
Thanks for the laugh.
He sounds like a real troll...
Hey! I know this Crap Detective! He makes the rounds on all the blogs leaving a variation of the same comment, and when you go to his blog it is just the one post? Oh man. He came to my blog and left a similar comment. I don't know, I found the whole thing mildly amusing. Such dedication! I must have accidentally sent him your way, so for that I say to you I'm Sorry/But Wasn't That Something? The Internet, man . . .
Interesting that he goes around saying that blogs are crappy, yet he reads them all! Odd little man.
Lovin' the advertising. Excellent work. I'm guessing you will be rewarded ten-fold. I know I'm using the prints as Christmas gifts for the family. You are making my life that much easier. Thanks dude.
I've been reading your blog for a little while now and I so adore it when you go on a well deserved rampage. That guy is a total douche... You turned my frown upside down, thanks!
P.S. Love the prints.
i heart the hot pocket reference. lol. have you seen jim gaffigan's Hot Pocket routine? search for it on youtube. it's all i could think of when you mentioned it.
and sorry for the un-showered man-lurker. maybe his mom could give him a sponge bath so he can continue his online driveling without interruption.
If your readers were the world what a divine place that would be, sadly we know this is not the case.
I have utilized your prints for several gifts and they have been loved so thank you for that.
I was wondering if you would call out this detective. Now what is it that he is detecting? Crappy blogs? You would think that if one had a pursuit to find all the crappy blogs that theirs would be a model of perfection. Not the case.
Now watch, he is going to get all hot and bothered and go to each of our blogs and tell us that they suck. Just wait for it everyone. I say that if it happens, we all call him out like Megan did.
Rookie, you are right. He has visited my humble little blog.
He said," I understand you feel overwhelmed and unable to say anything until it's too late.
Now is your chance to come back with something hilariously witty. You've got all the time in the world, I can wait."
The thing is, I don't care enough about him and his detective work to try. He obviously didn't read carefully I said, "There, you have my two bits on the matter." So in the words of my 20 month old. "All Done!"
Doesn't this detective know that we're all a bunch of bored housewifes (and Ryan), sitting around, just waiting for someone to pounce on? And snarl at like a bunch of angry kittens?
It's true. We live for this crap, Mr. Crap Detective.
Interestingly enough, I have found while viewing all 6 posts of the Crap Blog Detective, that not-a-one of these posts gives an example of how a perfect blog post should be. He's very specific about what to do and what not to do yet hasn't given any examples.
I say, Mr. Crap Blog Detective, put your money where your mouth is and produce something tangible.
I expect he'll be hoppin' over to my place soon. He will be welcomed.
He's just another blogger who is trying to find his own niche and annoying the crap out of people in the process.
Doesn't he know there are other bloggers who have filled the niche better?
Many a crappy blogs there are. This ain't one of'em.
What a doofus.
to quote a crappy song that seems to fit "the detective" "he was looking kind of dumb with a finger and his thumb in the shape of an L on his forehead"
I agree with all the above comments.
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