Saturday, June 13, 2009



Though the instances are rare, there have been a few cases when the stars have lined up just right, and, of the treasures that stay, one or two morph from reader to friend.

I find it happens like this: the reader finds my blog, they don't find it overly offputting, they leave a comment, I follow their comment back to the blog they keep and make a comment myself, this tells them that I might be attentive, they appreciate that and return to Remarks. Maybe they make another comment. And I see that comment as necessitating a private email response. And once I’ve emailed, they email back. And the volley begins.

We start a relationship online offline (tell me you understood that). Much like conversation when first meeting a person in person, the initial emails are made of just the surface material. But because I’m so enamored with the truth of people and profundity, I share a bit more of my interworkings than they'd find on the blog (believe it or not, there is actually more). And then they do the same. And I do. And then they do. And I discover a that the fingers behind the emails are attached to a body with a like mind, and that it's also one that I can appreciate, respect, be stimulated by--in essence: fall for. And before anyone realizes it, there’s the bud of friendship built with bricks of honest-to-goodness honesty. A relationship that has substance and value.

I'm good at being civil when I feel civility's merited, but I am not skilled at making friends. I think it's because I don't do Casual Acquaintance well. The friendships I value are those in which delving conversations are the standard not the exception. Those interactions provide the growth and benefits that I believe substantial human relationships are for. A quality relationship is one wherein both parties leave conversations feeling as if they received more than they gave. I have a just few of these, and I will go far out of my way to do for and help the people attached to those kinships; for because of their rarity, I understand their value.

My blog has facilitated the lengthy process of igniting or rekindling of a few of this type of relationship. But although I reap great gain from these scarce friendships--the old and new--for the most part they remain online in the intangible.

Until one takes the leap to make 'em tangible.


Alicia said...

Interesting. I have yet to become friend "in real life" with anyone I have met via blogging. Not that there aren't bloggers out there I could be friends with... I guess I just never took the leap.

Misti said...

I'm loving this series. Before blogging there was the land of forums, they still exist but blogs are much more prevalent for friendships. I met a lot of online-offline friends in much the way you describe, some I have eventually met when I've been to their city for one reason or another, or some that ended up being in my city.