Saturday, May 24, 2008

A SELFISH CLOVE

I’m no fan of garlic.

I don’t go wild for the taste. I can’t stand the smell.

I have a dog-like sense of smell (I have often considered renting out my superb nose). So when someone within 10 feet of me has consumed anything infused with garlic within the last 24 hours, I am assaulted and offended by the odor their body gives off (whether it be from their pores or their eating orifice).

A doctor leans in to sign my computer: I can smell his meatball sub.

My yoga teacher hovers overhead to make an adjustment: I can smell her hummus lunch.

My husband nears for a smooch: I can smell the salsa he snacked on. I back away from him, wrinkling my nose, reminding him that I can’t kiss him when I can’t breathe, and I can’t breathe when his breath reeks like garlic.

So garlic damages our marriage.

There are little bits of bother in every marriage . . . He leaves the seat up. She clutters the bathroom counter. He never makes the bed. She leaves her shoes all over the place. For us, it’s He eats garlic, and She’s selfish. So the He and She made a pact: She would give up selfishness, and He would give up garlic.

Having such a skill in the art of selfishness, She is doing her best though it’s tough. Loving stinky food as He does, giving up all things garlic is quite the task. But He and She are committed to making the marriage all it can be, and that just can’t happen with garlic and selfishness in the mix.

4 comments:

Andrea said...

DO NOT GIVE IN MARK! There is nothing better than garlic, it flavors everything perfectly! I too have garlic come out of my skin, my husband has as much distate for it as you Megan, but I refuse to give in. Stay strong Mark!

sue{;-P said...

You will have to give him a reprieve when he comes here to visit - I am not giving it up when I cook.

And by the way - wouldn't it be unselfish of you to allow him to eat it and not complain??? Hmmm???

tadd&cat said...

I'm greatly enjoying my new headers. Thank you!

Jaime Stephens said...

haha you make me laugh :-)