PEEK AT PILLOW TALK

The Husband and I have learned that pillow talk (love that Doris Day flick) is essential in our relationship. We actually need it for a marriage of rainbows and sunshine.

However, our pillow talk is often strange—less about the days happenings than disjointed bits and pieces. One night, the Husband took forty minutes to explain to me the interworkings of a combustion engine. On another, he delineated Hitler's rise to power.

The talking often goes too late, and then I get mad because The Husband won't let me go to sleep, and then I get mean, and then the rainbows and sunshine dissipate until morning.

A sampling: snippets from one night's pillow talk:

Wife: Red
Husband: Blue

“Do you know how to equalize you ears?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“How do you do it?”
“I plug my nose, close my mouth and kind of blow.”
“Can you do it without using your hands? I—”
“I don’t know. Suppose so. I chew gum, or I do this backward jaw motion thing, like a yawn. Why?”
“I find that I’ve been doing it a lot lately”
“It’s probably the elevation. You’re adjusting. Kansas is probably lower than Reno.”
“Huh. Could be.”
“The elevation’s a thing. I get headaches after travel. My coworker gets bad ones all the time. And I’ve found it’s taken my lungs a while to adjust and not be out of breath more quickly.”
“I never knew.”
“I’m a fount.”


“What do you look forward to?”
“In life?”
“Yeah.”
Long Pause
“Nothing.”
Longer Pause
“What about you? What are you looking forward to?”
“The same: nothing.”
“That’s depressing.”


“Okay. I want to go to sleep now.”
“So go to sleep.”
“You’re on my pillow.”
“I am?”
“Yup, move. You’re also on my side of the bed.”
“We don’t sleep romantic and intertwined.”
“Nope we don’t."
Husband adjusts.
"You’re still too close.”
“The dog is in my spot on my side of the bed.”
“Move her. She's a four pound animal. I think you can take her.”


“What’s your favorite chip?”
“Chip?”
“Yes, chip.”
“I like Pringles.”
“Re-eally? What flavor?”
“I think sour cream and onion.”
“Interesting.”
Long Pause
“Do you have a favorite flower?”
Quickly answered, “Sure do.”
“It is?”
“Tulips.”
“Huh. What color?”
“Any color.”
“And fruit, is banana your favorite?”
Pause.
“Actually I like those little mandarin oranges.”
“The Clementines in the box?”
“Yeah those.”
“Yes, you sure do like those.”
Pause.
“And favorite vegetable—is it still asparagus?”
“Yes.”
“How do you like it cooked?”
“Steamed.”
“What about roasted? Do you like it roasted?”
“No. Steamed.”
“What do you like on it?”
“Steak.”