Monday, March 10, 2008

IRREVERENCE INCOMING

I wasn't going to post about this, but I simply am unable to stop myself. If you are easily offended by things edging on sacrilege , read no further and I apologize. And mom, don't you fret, I know that this won't sully your reputation, but merely enhance it as the hilarious, fun-loving mother you are. But, alas, if you say I must remove this, long, long post, I will do it. Me: the ever dutiful daughter.

Last night, mom and I were IMing. Below you'll find the (long) conversation that ensued, completely unedited, rife with spelling errors, typos, bad punctuation, and silly LOLs—because truly, if one could actually laugh their head off, mine would now be on display in Mombi's hall of heads (think Return to Oz, but don't think too hard, because you'll remember the Wheelers and have nightmares for a month).

If you have the time and inclination, enjoy (or don't enjoy and realize what warped senses of humor my family is proud to have):

(MOM is the BOLD text.)

HEY I have an idea!!

[The Husband] said he was checking blogs the other night and every one he visited was bannered with my headers. It was funny.
rememebr how we would take hymns and add "in the bathtub" to them?
And a proud moment for him. I'm his protogee.. and I have no idea how to spell that word.
why don't we do that with blogging? ?
HenPecks in the Bathtub?
Whit Ing in the bathtub?
Like, "Come Follow Me" On my blog
OH!
I see.
"On a Green Hill Far Away" On my Blog
Lord I would follow thee on my blog? Oh dear.
lol
Praise to the Man on my blog!
that was GOOD
Now that works!
even better!!
I Know My Redeemer Loves on my Blog LIVES
Praise to the Man on my Blog
Truly, I'm having a hard time remembering hymn titles because our chorister chooses hymns I've never ever heard before every single week. And I've been a mormon for my whole life!
And I had no idea there were so many obscure hymns.
You should hear our ward on Sunday. (or not hear cause they don't know the words.)
They're totally lost and she's signing out with vigor.
As I Search the Holy Scriptures on my Blog
Now THAT works!
TESTIMONY on my blog!
BeThou Humble on my Blog
Sweet hour of prayer on my blog
lol
Count your blessings on my blog!
Sisters in Zion on my blog!
Called to Serve on my Blog
Ye Elders of Israel on my blog!
lololol! That's the one I was just going to say!
We thank thee oh god for a prophet on my blog.
Do What is Right on my Blog
And so many people did after he passed.
this is hysterical!
Families can be Together Forever on my BLog
Yes, yes!
That is probably the title of someone's blog out there.
How Great the Wisdom and the Love on my Blog
Well that's a little arrogant, isn't it?
Hope of Israel on my Blog Help me Teach with Inspiration on mY Blog
That is less arrogant. More humble, I'd say.
I am a Child of God on my Blog
I Have Work Enough to Do on my BLog
What Glorious Scenes Mine Eyes behold on my blog
The voice of got again is heard on my blog
I Saw a Mighty Angel Fly on my BLog
thtat was good!
Come, listen to a prophet's voice on my blog!
LOL
talk about arrogant!
JOSEPH SMITH'S FIRST PRAYER ON MY BLOG!
lol!
LOLOILO
I'm laughing so hard!
Truth eternal on my blog
Ye Simple Souls Who Stray on myt Blog
or stray TO my blog
We Are Al Inlisted on my Blog
lol
Rejoice, the lord is king on my blog
We Are Marching on to Glory on My Blog
LOLOLO
this is hilarious!!@
Battle hymn of the republic on my blog?
Not so funny that one.
Sons of Michael, He approaches on my blog.
Lo, the mighty god appearing on my blog!
We Love to Hear They Holy Word on my Blog
Now that works!
We Meet Dear Lord on my BLog
lol!
maybe the same thing could work with on ldssingles.com!
We meet dear lord on ldssingles.comg
At least that one for sure works.
LOLO
The Light Divine on my Blog
Where can I turn for Peace? on my blog.
The Time is Far Spent on my Blog
More Holiness give me on my blog
HA! The time is far spent...that is GREAT!
Abide with me on my blog
perfect!
IN REMEMBRANCE OF THY SUFFERING ON MY BLOG!
these are great!@
;aoknjva[oskgns oijihjh
hahahaha
God, our father, hear us pray on my blog.
Scatter Sunshine on my Blog
I love that one.
Shall the Youth of Zion Falter on my Blog?
Can you do that? Can you pray on a blog
Now that is good. That one works for "on myspace"
I stand all amazed on my blog
Again, our dear redeeming lord, on my blog
SHOULD YOU FEEL INCLINED TO CENSURE ON MY BLOG
Hold cow!
That's marvelous!
Have I done any good on my blog?/
I have not!
Nay, speak no ill on my blog!
perfect!
You can make the pathway bright on my blog
We are marching on to glory on my blog!
are we the first ever on the face of the earth to think of this???
ABSOLUTELY!
And I'm thinking you should post on it, but it's too sacreligious.
I'm thinkin'.
Choose the right on my blog.
... hmm is it???
probably
but it's funny!!
Know this, that EVERY soul is free on MY blog!
HILARIOUS!
!@!!!!!!!
Nay, Speak no Ill on my blog
I love that one.
did you do that one already?
It was worthy of being mentioned twice.
Like ten thousand legions marching on my blog.
Behold! A royal army on my blog.
Men are that they might have joy on my blog.
Thy holy word on my blog.
The glorious gospel light has shone on my blog.
Children's Song book: Because God Loves me on my blog
lol!
And no where else. Just on your blog.
Busy as a man can be on my blog
From homes of saints glad songs arise on my blog.
and maybe not even there!
Families can be together for ever on my blog.
Dare to Do Right on my BLog!
Jesus, the very thought of thee, on my blog.
lol
DO AS I'M DOING ON MY BLOG
!!!
Excellent advice!
Keep the commandments on my blog.
Each life that touches ours for good on my blog.
Turn your hearts on my blog.
Ye who are called to labor.
on my blog.
Go the Second Mile on my Blog
You may have already done that labor one.
Yes do go the second mile!
Thy servants are prepared on my blog.
See, the mighty angel flying on my blog!
lolol
I need thee every hour on my blog!
God be with you til we meet again on my blog.
Here we are together on my blog
lol
Yes, here we are.
How Will they know on my blog?
LOLOLOL!!!!
I Always have a happy feeling on my blog
Brightly beams our father's mercy on my blog.
I am Glad for many things on my blog
Mother, this is ingeious.
How the heck did you think of that.
?
I am like a star on my blog
warped in the head
THAT IS PERFECT!
Everyone is a star on their own blog!
I Beleive in Being Honest on my Blog
Oh, now I think the children's songs might be even better . . . this is AMAZING!
I Lived in Heaven on my Blog
lol
If you could hie to kolob on my blog
I looked out the window and what did I see? My Blog
I cannot, with typing, accurately convey how hard that made me laugh!
Love is Spoken Here on my Blog
It sure is.
On that, are you going to post photos from your trip or what?
Ah, I see . ...
NEPHI'S COURAGE ON MY BLOG
Oh Father look on us today on my blog
Yes do!
Once there was a snowman on my blog
I didn't bring my camera - so we have to rely on Caitlyn's photos
HYSTERICAL.
And why, oh, why does your blog post my comments twice?
No one else's does that.
The Prophet Has Some Words for you Onl my BLog
who knows
Oh! That's like being sent to the prinicpals office.
Quickly I'll Obey on my Blog
And no place else.
Repentance on my Bog
(no kidding...)
hopefully...
Seriously. Me need photos of vacation
Reverentlyt, Quietly on my BLog
talk to your sister
Our Savior's Love on my blog
I hope they call me on a mission on my blog.
Search Ponder and Pray on my Blog
Yes!
I love to see the temple on my blog.
lol!
Give, said the little stream on my blog
The Commandments on my Blog
!!!
We Are Different on my blog
we sure are!
We Beleive all that God has Revealed on my Blog
And all that he will yet reveal!
Many great and important things
We Beleive in the gift of tongues on my blog
Pertaining to the kingdom of god
Oh, now that's good. Cause with the way some people punctuate, they must be speaking in tounges.
tongues.
You Don;t have to push a handcart on my blog
LOL! No, I guess you don't.
A child's prayer on my blog
All things bright and beautiful on my blog--you may have already done that one.
As I have loved you on my blog
Haley just got home and i just looked at the clock - I need to go to bed!@
At night, when i'm alone in bed on ym blog.
DO! Talk with you later!
thanks for the laughs!!
Goodnight on my blog

4 comments:

Tadd and Cat said...

I am ashamed to call you fam-i-ly.

Suep said...

You're just jealous you weren't involved.

birdonthelawn said...

I LOVE IT!

Lindey & Corbin said...

I just wanted to say the headers you made for my blog are so dang cute, but i'm a really big idot and i can't get them to fit. Eithere they are way to big for the box or way tiny in the box. So please don't think i'm rude by not using them i'm just still trying to figure out how to use them!