Saturday, January 26, 2008


Stop making stuff. Buy it. Feel guilty about that? Call it a service to the economy. Crafts are a bummer. You know—they do produce a whole lot of waste.

So you scrapbook (and I am choking right now because the word “scrapbook” has morphed itself into a verb within our lexicon)—c’mon, isn’t that whole endeavor the epitome of tedium? Teeny little pieces of paper. Miniature stickers. Diecuts in the silhouette of hearts, bicycles and ponies. Scissors that cut scallops. Scissors that cut zig-zags. Scissors that, in a single snip, create a perfect profile of your six-year-old. And then, after 18 hours on the floor, in front of Dante’s Peak on rerun, with said six-year-old asleep on the floor next to you and your 8-month-old having screamed itself hoarse seeking your attention, you’ve finished one page of the 8-month-old’s memorable fourth bath and are surrounded by discarded, clipped paper scraps and have a photo of your husband bathing said baby glued to your sore rump. 

All that work for one page that doesn’t even look that great and cost you $33.42 with all the tidbits you purchased (and only used half of). Tell me that was yogic for you and I’ll stuff it, but before you do, if you even can say such a thing, explain to me why, just why, you’d spend so much time, neglect your family, and diminish your eyesight when it would be faster, easier, and much less expensive to throw your kids in the car, zip to Target, buy a couple leather-bound photo albums, and insert your many precious pictures in the ready-made slots? Then you’d have that much more time to spend making memories with your kids, photographing them, and filling more pre-fab albums. Instead, there are those—and should you be one of them, good for you and hate me if you will—who delight in the cutesy and time consuming.

There are people I love who have what I see as a nutty predilection for this hobby, and their tenacity and skill in completing pages and projects is nothing short of commendable (and I’d be remiss if I didn’t add that they most decidedly do not neglect their children for these extraordinary projects, rather, they sacrifice sleep). For my part, though, I just don’t understand the appeal.

When the scrapbooking craze kicked of a while back, I snapped up my pinking shears and threw myself on the glued-together bandwagon, and then, I must admit, good sense caught hold and yanked me off that Voyage of the Damned.  (It’s “Village,” I know, I know.)

Scrapbooking, crafts, making stuff at home—ain’t none of it for me. Save your pennies. Buy it all. Replenish the economy. It’s easier, and it frees you up to sit at your mother’s kitchen counter, be fed, and make memories that you know can be photographed and slipped in an album with little ado for later lookin’.

(Now Lindsay, I swear to you that this diatribe was not directed at you; you are, however, my sole example of a person who can make these amazing projects—that calendar was truly insane—without leaving your kids to fend for themselves. How you do it, I'll never know . . . )


whitneyingram said...

It is quite commendable that you have learned how to read my inner thoughts. Scrapbooking REALLY isn't for me. My brain doesn't provide me with the creative compacity nor the patience. So here's to the economy!

M to the E to the R to the I said...

Amen to that.

Janeen said...

I have to admit, in the past I was so good about it until B turned 4, and then it all went down hill. I must say agee with the above posts. Amen!

Janeen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mal Robin said...

This online stuff, is so much better. Its the way to go, and think of it like this, a fire happens in your houes and your scrapbooks didnt make it out, if you had invested a little time in the online craze you have nothing to worry about. All is not lost, those who crapbook, stop now, join us.

Megan said...

I love you people.

Rebecca said...

At $33.42 a page I'd say that scrapbookin' ain't half bad for the economy either:)

And I must also add that my job for 2.5 years scrapbooking for a billionaire wasn't that bad for MY economy either. But, I don't scrapbook for myself...maybe someday...but for now I put my time and energy (and money) into taking pics of my cute kiddos and reading random blogs:)