Saturday, December 1, 2007

NOV. 1 - 30 UNTHANKFULS:

I’ve been a good girl and recorded three things for each day of November that I’m thankful for. Now I’m going to toss it all windward and make a list of ten things that I’m very much not grateful for.

MY UNGRATEFUL LIST:
1 . . . for times when it feels like there’s something on your brand new contact lens and no matter how many times you clean it, it still feels awful and you spend most of the day looking out of only one eye.
2 . . . for expense reports. They are a necessary evil, but evil nonetheless.
3 . . . for people who complain in public. I don’t care what they have to say, but there I am hearing it anyhow. The guy standing next to the complainer doesn’t care what they have to say. And we are all doing our best to be upbeat and have a good day. Keep it to yourself. Blog about it. Just please don’t practically scream about it in line at Target.
4 . . . for people who are unkind to airport employees. People who work at airports are destined for sainthood—they deal with harried, unkind travelers all day long and can still manage to smile back at me when I ask how their day has gone. Bless them all.
5 . . . for hangnails.
6 . . . for times when I look in the mirror and see that I had a particle of something wedged in my teeth. How long was it there? And why, oh why, didn’t some kind soul tell me about it?
7 . . . for fat days (especially when they’re as prolific as they have been lately).
8 . . . for evening events that conflict with and take my away from my yoga practice.
9 . . . that the way that I hold my pen makes it such that my hand smears my writing as I write—I got through all that work, painstakingly forming each “a,” “g,” and “I” and as I move onto the next line of what I’m writing, the not-yet-dried ink of the previous line goes all Jackson Pollock on me, smearing and splattering its way into Centre Pompidou.
10 . . . for published documents that contain apostrophe errors. It’s painful to look at a brochure or billboard that has a blatant apostrophe catastrophe. What’s even worse is that no one seems to care but me.

3 comments:

Mallory Gallery said...

Why didnt you do a whole month of ungrateful things? Im lovin it.

Meri, Nate and Solee said...

I am with you on the hangnails. I cannot seem to leave mine alone, therefore resulting in even worse hangnails.

Tadd and Cat said...

Weird that when I started reading about the person complaining, I automatically envisioned Target. Strange. I have the same problem with my stupid writing hand. Why couldn't I have been blessed with finger strength to hold my pen differently?